Petting or Accidentally Punishing?
Imagine you’ve been practicing “Come” with your dog for several weeks. You let him out into the backyard to toilet and after several minutes, you stand at the backdoor and call, “Come!” He looks up, trots over, and walks into the house. Yay! It’s working! You douse him with praise, telling him what a good boy he is, and give him a good rub to drive the point home. The only problem? You’ve accidentally punished him.
Without scolding, yelling, spanking, or jerking his collar, how could we possible punish the dog???
Petting.
Can you believe it? Petting can be a form of punishment even if we don’t intend it.
For humans, think about co-workers Betty and Jess. Betty is a shy introvert, Jess is a gregarious extrovert. The company they work for is holding a competition and the winner gets a night at the karaoke club with ten friends. Betty could easily win, but she’s scared to work hard for fear she’ll actually succeed. Karaoke is part of her nightmares, not her dreams. A reward is only a reward if it’s something the recipient appreciates.
But don’t all dogs like petting?!
Nope.
Some dogs find it downright unpleasant.
If the reward you’re offering is unpleasant enough, the dog will actually quit doing the behavior to avoid earning the “reward.”
It’s pretty easy to check your dog’s feelings about petting with a Consent Test!
Pet. Pet your dog for 3-5 seconds
Pause. Stop petting and put your hands in your lap.
Observe. What does your dog do when you stop petting? Does she nuzzle your hands or lean in to ask for more? Does she stand there staring off into space? Does she walk away? If she solicits more petting by moving closer, you know she likes it. If she takes the opportunity to move away from you, she probably wasn’t enjoying it much.
This video from Dog Charming shows you exactly what to look for.
Make sure to test various places on your dog’s body, different styles of petting, and in different environments.
And don’t worry if your dog doesn’t seem to like petting! It doesn’t mean he’s broken, or was previously abused. It’s just the way he is!