Distressed or Relaxed? Can you Spot the Difference in Your Dog?
Is your dog truly relaxed? Or is he actually apprehensive? Can you spot the difference?
How would you interpret Stella’s feelings or emotions in each of these photos?
Sitting during an adventure to Hobby Lobby
Laying on a bed at home
Down at Hobby Lobby
Call me cynical, but I’m often suspicious of reports that the dog is “so calm,” “well-behaved,” or “let’s them do anything” in situations where I normally expect to see problematic behaviors (such as over-the-top excitement with jumping, etc.).
Why?
Because sometimes the dog isn’t actually calm. He’s distressed.
Several years ago, I wrote “Good Dog or Silent Panic Attack?” on this topic, but I want to address it again because Calm and Distressed are so easily confused. And that’s a real problem for dogs and people.
A Language Problem
We humans aren’t born speaking Doggy, so sometimes we miss (or misinterpret) what our dogs are saying.
Dog body language isn’t our native tongue and with many of us having few points of reference for “normal” dog behavior, it’s can be difficult to spot something abnormal: you may not realize your dog’s behavior is off because he’s the only dog you’ve ever had.
Apprehension and Distress can look a lot like Calm unless you know what to look for!
A Definition Problem
Not only do we not naturally speak Doggy, but we often associate stillness or lack of activity with a well-behaved dog.
That’s not necessarily a bad definition, but it clouds our interpretation because stillness or lack of activity don’t always mean the dog is okay.
“Wow! That dog didn’t even get up when the visitors walked in!”
Consider a human example: Janey is shy and has social anxiety. At group events, she usually sits on the edge of the activity and watches everything going on, counting the minutes until she can just get out of there without making it awkward.
She’s still. She’s not disruptive. She’s not a difficult guest.
But she’s not enjoying herself and she’s definitely not okay.
The same thing can happen with our dogs.
For me, comfort—a lack of distress—is BIG priority. The dog’s “good manners” are irrelevant if he’s also freaked out.
You might have a dog who is very easy to live with because he just lays around most of the day, and doesn’t even bother to get up when someone comes in. That doesn’t mean he’s okay. He might actually be too scared or nervous to do anything.
A lack of activity due to distress, anxiety, or fear is not okay.
The Answer
So how can you tell the difference? How can you know your dog is truly relaxed and not freezing out of fear?
Learn his language!
Bentley is hiding after a scary incident. Panting indoors, for him, is very abnormal and is a symptom of distress in this photo.
Look for these red flag behaviors that might indicate distress:
Yawning
Tongue flicks/lip-licking
Pinned ears
Wide or whale eyes
Turning head away
Stiff or slow movement
And here’s a great dog body language 101 video from Fear Free Happy Homes
NOTE:
Body language has to be read in context to be interpreted correctly. Just as you can’t understand your colleague’s request if their email says nothing but, “today,” you can’t correctly understand your dog if you only read one piece of their body.
You have to read the entire body within the context to accurately interpret what’s being said:
If your dog stretches and yawns right after a nap, that yawn is probably just a yawn.
If your dog yawns 10 times in a 10 minute car ride, those yawns are probably not just yawns.